SOURCES: Lepore to return as Soft J’s Manager, almost fired

Sources close to the Soft J’s organization have confirmed that Jason Lepore will be back as manager for their next softball season, when and where ever that may be.

Those same sources, with direct knowledge of the situation, who also claim to be the best looking members of the organization, confirmed that there was a brief period where it looked as if Lepore’s termination was eminent. There was unrest in the clubhouse with where the club was heading, especially since they weren’t heading to Cabo after the games.

But after the final game of the season and the realization amongst all J’s that they had just laid claim to their first pennant, any chance of a mutiny was put to rest.

In other news, Lee Rosen and Sean Djernes have both tested negative for performance enhancing drugs and will be available for next season. Kevin Quinn has vowed to come back stronger than ever and also stated that he has signed an endorsement deal with P90X. Paul Farinacci claims to have a tumor in his brain, but doctors have confirmed that it was in fact the world’s largest in-grown jheri curl. All expect Paul to claim he has another life threatening disease shortly. Jon Aronson was voted first team All-Ass, as voted by the fans for best rear end. Brett Spaulding finished last in voting for Comeback POY. Eric Viramontes is reportedly in talks with the Mexican National Track and Field team. JJ Warren’s contract is up for review after an “ankle injury” kept him out for all of the 2nd half of the season, some suspect there is more than meets the eye on this one. Tim Kenney’s cleats have been taken into possession by league officials determining if the metal spikes he uses could sever a human leg. People are still wondering why Mikey Riess was always batting in the top 3 of the line up even after a month hiatus. Rumors of an alleged affair with Jason Lepore have been floating around the internet. The head office mentioned that finding a replacement pitcher for next season is the most important off season move in the storied franchises history. P Darren Quinn is expected to be out next season after surgery.