From Soft J's to the Softest J's

the J's are just a fragment of what they once stood for and their priorities are way out of whack. No more trips to Cabo, in fact, no one even asks about going anymore. No more emails before games pumping everyone up for that night's game. In fact, we've gone to an automated system now for checking in players, and even that didn't help last night as we had only 9 show up. Mrs. Farinacci showed up to watch one of the most pathetic offensive performances by a Soft j's team ever (Tri-P's is #1).

the only recognizable characteristic of the J's that was seen in last night's game was everyone getting on Sean when he snapped his 5 season long hitting streak followed by an F bomb on-slaught that offended everyone within a square mile.

even Dave Johnston won't write about us anymore.

we truly have gone soft, and that's just unacceptable.

The recent onsent of June Gloom certainly hasn't made an impact on the J's performance on the field. They've continued their dominance of the league this season as they've pushed their record to 8-1. A first ever division championship is all but locked up. And yet, attendance is at an all time low. Win after win, I've sat in the stands, alone and confused. How could it be that through the best season in J's history, turnout has hit rock bottom?

And so it was that I decided to do some serious investigative reporting, the likes of which I haven't done since I uncovered the rampant use of performance enhancing drugs in the RFRRL (Russian Federation of Russian Roulette League). After hours and hours of phone calls, internet searching, and drug use, I still had no answers. I had given up. And then something strange happened.

I was sitting at the game Wednesday night and Center Fielder Sean Djernes was called out on a close play at second base. My ears perked up. A Djernes outburst is worth the price of admission alone. And what happened, you ask? Nothing. A few words to the other team as he walked back to the dugout. No massive F Bomb. No being held back by teammates. No telling the other team that he'll be in the parking lot or that he could beat any one of them in at least 8 out of 10 sports. And right then and there I figured it out. The J's have gone vanilla.

This team used to draw comparisons to the Pistons of the late 80s. It was this swagger, this attitude, that put fans in the stands. I did a little more research and found a stat that says it all. The J's are 8-1 this year, but they have made a mere 2 trips to Cabo. They don't drink, they don't swear, and they barely even taunt each other during the games any more. They may win, but it sure hasn't been exciting to watch.

I spoke with Second Basemen Jon Aronson after the game and was told, "You know I think we're all just turning a corner. Maturing. That stuff was fun when we were 20, but not anymore. I think we've all learned that you don't have to drink to have a good time." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Aronson is a perfect microcosm of what this team has become. He stopped turning tricks 3 years ago and hasn't even sniffed a scandal since.

It wasn't always this way, and hopefully it doesn't stay like this. But losing party legends Clint Jackson (known for his trademark random screaming and 2 hour solo dance sessions) and Eric Snow (known for binging until 4PM the next day in Vegas) certainly doesn't bode well for the future.

Faithful readers, I leave you with the following link below. It is my hope and my dream that the poor sportsmanship caught in this video will once again become the J's trademark.

http://sharing.theflip.com/session/d08e74cde5cd25d96429b14979431c8d/video/4516990