From The Rookie Who Probably Shouldn't Be Posting

Fellow Soft J's:

After flying out to end our top half of the 7th inning on Wednesday and therefore inhibiting Paul's possibility to hit for the cycle, I decided to perform a self-analysis of my contribution to the team to see if I was living up to my multi-million dollar rookie contract (No). I understand that, behind the scenes, management may be discussing placing a little pink slip in a certain centerfielder's locker due to a sub-par batting average, the recent signing of a 16-year old Dominican phenom who is already in Double A, and the fact that I root for a certain Bay Area baseball team against the likes of pretty much everyone within a 40 mile radius here, including most of the team.

I do not hope to end up a newer version of Ryan Leaf, so I assessed my contributions utilizing a (+/-) system to see if I add value to the team. Since this is a stats-crazy team, I used the very popular VORP (Value Over Replacement Player) statistic. Here are the results:

1. Below .500 Batting Average (-1, it's softball, are you kidding me)
2. Flying out to right to end Paul's chances of hitting for the cycle (-4, for the homer he would have hit to complete the cycle)
3. Telling my three single friends about Darren's spectacular ERA (+3)

4. Leading the team in walks (-2, for each walk)
5. Rooting for the Giants (+1 for me, -6 (estimated) for each Dodgers fan on the Soft J's)
6. Winning back-to-back Little League Championships at 11- and 12-years old (+2)
7. Our team name was the Giants (+1 and -6 again)
8. Being on an undefeated team in T-Ball (+1)
9. Living with Snow's ex as my roommate (-1)
10. 1.000 Fielding Percentage (+2, for the total number of fly balls that have made it out to CF in five games)
11. Having fun sisters (+2, I need positive points somehow)

12. Weirdly posting a picture of my sisters for the Soft J's to creep on (-1)
13. Being a rookie and posting on this blog, especially since I'm a new guy, and even especially more for the guys I haven't met yet who wonder who the hell this J.J. guy is (-2)
14. Having the letter "J" in my name and playing for the Soft J's (+2)
15. Being a huge Taylor Swift fan (+10)

So, after this assessment, I ended up with a VORP of (+1). Thus, in the end, I was happy that I was somewhat justifying myself. Obviously, pink-slip decisions rest with the front office, and I apologize for leading the team in walks, but I now feel better that I am somewhat earning a couple pennies worth of my rookie signing contract.

Until Wednesday,
Rookie J.J.